Comedy

Learn from the stories, mistakes and experiences of 2 dudes from Brisbane as they help guide listeners through the various troubles of life.

Episodes

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Advertising has reached new heights this week as KFC plan to launch a zinger burger into space… because… like marketing and stuff. James discovers the hidden world of Brisbane’s missed connections. We find out if your wife getting kicked out is legal, what makes fonts sexy, can you hack ethically, attitude apparel and why the fuck is there coffin in your cupboard?

Topics:
– KFC launching Zinger burger into almost space
– Can my parents kick my wife out?
– Why is there a coffin in the cupboard?
– Brisbane’s missed connections from Craig’s List
– Attitude shorts
– Ethical Hackers

If you enjoy the show, you can subscribe on iTunes to get new episodes automatically!

If you’d like to give us some advice, tell us a tale, or just have a chat, jump on over to our Facebook page, @AdvisoryPodcast on Twitter or shoot us an email show@advisorypodcast.com.

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Selling drugs in a pizza place, YouTube clickbait, fidget spinners and Social Media Managers.

Topics:
- Selling drugs in a Papa John's Pizza place

- Working for the Police as Social Media Manager

- What's a fidget spinner and why do I want one?

- Nasty YouTube Clickbait

- Becoming The Wookie

- Using AfterPay to buy drugs

If you’d like to give us some advice, tell us a tale, or just have a chat, jump on over to our Facebook page, @AdvisoryPodcast on Twitter or shoot us an email show@advisorypodcast.com.

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00:0000:00

The meme collector blackmails his dad with memes, how to become a hacker, The Matrix Remake, Harry Potter taxes and ghost attacks!

Topics:
- Random boners when I go swimming
- Using memes as a form of revenge on my dad after he found my meme folder
- The Matrix remake
- What makes some people more susceptible to incubus and succubus attacks?
- How to become a hacker
- How do taxes work in the Harry Potter universe?

We reveal some deep dark secrets and our relationship breaks down over the choir liar.

You can watch the video version of this episode on our YouTube channel and if you enjoy the show you can subscribe on iTunes to get new episodes automatically!

If you’d like to give us some advice, tell us a tale, or just have a chat, jump on over to our Facebook page, @AdvisoryPodcast on Twitter or shoot us an email show@advisorypodcast.com.

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This week it's all about people bringing their pets to funerals, coffee haters, space as we know it not existing and the best Australian superhero.

Topics:
- Drug smuggling ecstasy bird that was arrested by border patrol after trying to sneak a backpack full of pills into Kuwait.
- The funeral dress code and whether or not dogs are allowed at funerals.
- What to do if you think coffee sucks.
- How do we know space is real and it's not part of some fale reality.
- The Truman Show & Bio Dome combined sequel
- James the Sugar Glider: Australia's number 1 superhero aka The Australian Batman. 

You can watch the video version of this episode on our YouTube channel and f you enjoy the show you can subscribe on iTunes to get new episodes automatically! 

If you’d like to give us some advice, tell us a tale, or just have a chat, jump on over to our Facebook page, @AdvisoryPodcast on Twitter or shoot us an email show@advisorypodcast.com.

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In this episode Jame5 and 7odd become the Australian Daft Punk and Slipknot version of Uhh Yeah Dude. 

We chat about the Create Queensland YouTube event and why we need Daft Punk style helmets to compete with all the hotties. 

Finally, James reveals a cat incident which made him hate cats for life.

 

Topics:

  • How to deal with running into boring people
  • How do I get rid of my girlfriend's cat
  • Todd discovers YouTube and spices up his life with the Spice Girls 
  • Our new 80's celestial space advice podcast
  • Why cats are fuckheads

 

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00:0000:00

 

We need to develop a universal sign or signal for "your zipper is down" because this is starting to get ridiculous!

We drop that red hot Lil' Bow Wow news: He's boasting, the internet's roasting!

We talk about the dangerous wonders of open house parties and parents who don't know shit about tech. Todd takes us on an EDM adventure and we want to know your Myspace song.

Topics:

- Vegan Wedding

- Teenager grounded for throwing an open house party--is mum allowed to take my phone and xbox?

 

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00:0000:00

We’re putting together a competitive Overwatch team on PS4—this is not a drill, get your PSN names in! 

Earl wants to know if farting on a first date is a forgivable sin. We help him understand the intricacies and the Bill Nye science of stink management and the profound impact a can of Lynx Africa can have on a relationship. (Also, do people who work for a company have to use that product as their go to? Like if you’re the CFO of Lynx—do you have to wear Lynx?) 

Government hating Mary wants the government out of her marriage and out of her business! 

Listener reviews that make us laugh get a gift! 

Topics:
 - How to neutralise bodily odour 
- Customising the modern marriage 

Watch the video of this episode on our YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkizS98bAsjFePMV14ISKxA 

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April 30, 2017

Crave The Vape - Ep.90

00:0000:00

STOP THE VAPE! This cannot be a coincidence—5 people I know this week have begun to vape. I can only assume that vape juice has been dumped into our water supply is now corrupting the masses #StopTheVape. (This did lead to Todd revealing some private text messages in an attempt to besmirch my good anti-vape name). 

Questions:
- When does my diploma run out? 
- When is saying “shut up and dance with me” inappropriate? 
- I bought a male dog recently and I was never told he had gotten another dog pregnant. Now they’re selling the puppies. I have the dad. Do I have any rights to say what happens to these puppies?
- How do I stop the neighbours kids from playing on my lawn? 

Todd completely misremembers the movie Grease and recounts the prison scene he definitely remembers being in the film. We also explore deadbeat dog dads, dog ownership rights, Tilikum your dog and Todd’s Lightning McQueen and Cars movie theory. 

Finally, we wrap things up with a quick breakdown of the only comic book movie that matters—Billy Zane’s The Phantom. 

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This is a video podcast and you can watch us in pristine, yet out of focus, condition right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztVZP62CYu8 

In this episode Todd basically reveals that he knows nothing about me and is in need of some serious James Updates. 

We help someone decide whether or not buying drugs for their boss is part of their work place responsibilities, which really sets James off on weed culture. But really a crime for a crime is the only way to address an issue like this. 

Someone else wants to know how they can ask for their old job back without seeming desperate? And we do a quick review of Thirteen Reasons Why, Iron Fist, Beauty and the Beast, Logan, Ghost in the Shell and some stuff we’re just not going to finish. 

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00:0000:00

It’s a whole new world - a new fantastic point of view… in video form. We upset a sex doll company by not offering video for our podcast so we caved to their demands and now we’re live in prerecorded video. Check out the video for this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmDHXDn_wd8&t=19s 

Topics: 
-We deliver a sure fire strategy for overcoming restaurant, menu and ordering anxiety. 
-How to get a trust paid out early using the flawless 3 step Warren Buffett process. 
-How do I get my wife to chill out about me cheating on her? 
-Also, just real quick, the Queen isn’t real, she’s a human puppet in a strange, yet royal, Weekend at Bernie’s style scenario.  

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00:0000:00

Investigative journalists uncover a story deemed too hot for A Current Affair - local poo pandemic where businesses are being forced to move due to taxi drivers shitting in the streets. We seize this series of unfortunate events and turn it into a local tourist attraction - The Big Pineapple …of shit. Also, I apologise for putting pet owners on blast for 3 straight minutes in this episode. I hope we can learn from this and move forward together. Finally, If you ever lose your house keys - follow these simple and easy steps. (Also Todd is an arsonist). 

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00:0000:00

We discover the craziest ad copy ever written for one of the craziest perfume scents ever made - we’re talking cat scented perfume here people. Todd reveals some deeply held smell secrets. Todd made a ludicrous purchase and is now apparently heading into the live streaming podcast game via CB radio for truckers. We help Dana who, after getting into a schoolyard brawl, now thinks in slow-motion. The secret is to never punch a Gypsy and pay it forward, like that Shia LaBeouf movie Holes. Todd’s uncomfortable with sperm donation and sexy Hearthstone. 

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00:0000:00

 

  • Wiki Leaks Vault 7 info dump reveals Batman style open mesh network that turns your mobile into a listening device. 
  • Height Liars & Tall Tales. 
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s New Jobs. 
  • Do judges make deductions if they don’t like your figure skating music? 
  • What is the best song ever made? 
  • What is and isn’t socially acceptable. 
  • Another Socially Awkward James Tale. 
  • Should I hit on my stepmum?
  • ANNOUNCEMENT!

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00:0000:00

Jellybean Todd and Award Winning James tackle possum problems and pick apart some issues with The Walking Dead. 

Other topics: 
How to start a band with no friends. 
Stevie Wonder Isn’t Blind. 
We rank ourselves with the Coolness Ranking System. 
A Tale From James’ Past.  
Weekly recommendation. 

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00:0000:00

In this weeks episode we are discuss Iceland’s hatred of pineapple on pizza, Todd opens up about his traumatic experience with fast food, we discuss how to get out of going to an engagement party and we figure out why James is such a bad influence. Energy drink shots are fired and Todd discovers Haul Videos. 

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00:0000:00

James’ parents rank their children. 
A Twitter follower teaches us how to sell without getting caught. 
James uncovers his saxophone recording history. 
Todd ditches Rockstar for the new hit energy team in town. 
A listener gets touched by an Alien or an Angel.  
Tattoo prejudice and clean skin hatred. 

Share it with your guild. 

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00:0000:00

This episode of The Advisory is unofficially brought to you by Rockstar Energy, who are also now unofficial title sponsor of our new endeavour; Competitive Podcasting. Say goodbye to sports, competitive gaming, e-sports and athletes, it's time to Slam The Juice! 

Also on this episode we talk about the recent sex ghost haunting UK reality TV show, which lead us to discover Spectrophilia; the fetish where people want to have sex with ghosts and images in mirrors.
Harambe Cheeto selling on eBay for a ridiculous amount of money.  
The Rock vs Dwayne Johnson: who would win a real life brawl. 
Arnold Schwarzenegger vs Dwayne Johnson: The ultimate show down. 
Rapid Fire Questions! 
Can I get in trouble for growing vegetables at school? 

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00:0000:00

Guest host David from the Art For Artists podcast joins us to sling some advice and have a chat.
An awkward exchange of money involving unnecessary touching.
A special thanks to the people who suggested podcasts to listen to.
How to deal with perving neighbours with porn addictions.
What to do with a scuba license.
Todd loves Frankie Muniz and David loves Agent Cody Banks.
What is Frankie Muniz up to right now? 

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00:0000:00

On this weeks episode we discover the pros and cons of hiring a Flash Mob. Why Mr Michael ‘Basketball’ Jordan is so tall and how you can use his scientific methods to get taller. How to propose when you don’t have friends and actual scientists want to kill BigFoot. 

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00:0000:00

Smello-vision is back… but in the porn industry. CamSoda releases smell mask called OhRoma to enhance your VR porn experience.
Girls possessed after failing to pass on WhatsApp chain mail. 
How Amanda Bynes get The Amanda Bynes Show? 
James sucks at negotiation and gets rejected by Optus. 
Why are people buying vinyl when CDs and cassette taps are clearly the best way to listen to music? (CDs are the new future currency).
How to covertly convince anyone to do whatever you want. 
Our first and last CD purchases. 
Ratings and restrictions aren’t like they used to be.
Todd’s neighbour has gone missing and he doesn’t know what to do about it. (We accidentally make you all part of a crime).

(Forgive us for the plosives and the pops! We recently upgraded our recording gear and we’re still figuring out how to use it. Thanks for understanding!) 

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00:0000:00

On this week’s episode we talk Sexy Spiderman boudoir photography that gets our spidey senses tingling. Todd disrespects the Marvel Extended Universe. Hasbro lets the Internet decide on new Monopoly pieces. Meme Monopoly. A listener asks if housesitting is permission to snoop through their belongings. Meeting strangers online, getting them to sleep over, convincing mum and dad to be chill about it, and police station dates for safety. Infiltrating the scene kid scene. 

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00:0000:00

On this week episode we discuss how Todd infiltrated the Trucker scene, and we try to piece together why bathroom architects are perverts. We uncover Gods newest commandments, open up about who we are, chat about the worst movie quotes and how quoting films can make you a biz-wiz business man, and answer the age old question 'Would you sell your used underwear for a quick buck?’. 

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00:0000:00

The new year is upon us and it’s time to choose our over arching theme that will colour all of our decisions for the year. 20-Spooksteen and 20-Scamsteen are over, and it’s time to move forward and discover what is to come in 2017. 

- 20 Seven Scene: we infiltrate scenes and subcultures Louis Theroux Roman Mars 99% Invisible style. Warning: Goths are disappearing like the bees. 
- 20 Seven Convene: a year of unity. 
- 20 Seven Mean: the mean average of being mean to people 
- 20 Seven Celine: a year of Celine Dion appreciation 
- 20 Heaven Teen: a review of every episode of 7th Heaven 

Timestamps: 
01:07 - Branding 2017 
09:39 - How do I get my girlfriend to eat more fruits and vegetables (Applying Jack Nicholson wolf theories to real world problems and ending the consumption of meat forever). 
13:09 - How to get drunk on a budget 
13:24 - Cricket Themed Wine 
20:11 - I’m starting Uni and I want to develop a cool trait 
21:05 - James’ Top 3 Coolest Things 
21:48 - Todd’s Top 3 Coolest Things 

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00:0000:00

The Listener Christmas Question Special! 

Anti-Fish Christmas and what it’s like to have Christmas in Australia (aka a hot hot hell). 
We get to the bottom of exactly what Santa is up to for 364 days out of the year. 
The classic dead body and portion control techniques to get people to leave on Christmas. 

Questions: 
- What is the right meat to eat at Christmas? 
- What does Santa do for the other 364 days a year? 
- How to get people to leave after Christmas lunch / dinner? 

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00:0000:00

We teach a listener how to make alcohol 2 different ways out of house hold items…also please don’t do this. 

Racing pigeons becoming new black market street currency (Racing pigeons are the new dog fights). 

James has a rant about marijuana and stoner culture. 

One Up is a serious problem; we teach you how to deal with a one upper. 

Questions: 
- What can I get high on around the house? 
- A guy a like keeps trying to one up me. 

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00:0000:00

2 Australian’s discuss the man who punched a kangaroo in the face, the metal crushing kangaroo and the big ol’buff roo who roams the Northside of Brisbane. 

We discuss what happened to Brendan Fraser? And accidentally start another podcast beef over our David Attenborough episode, we rattled the David hive and now we have a fully fledged podcast war on our hands. David Beckham is the Queen David and must be taken out. 

Todd thinks old people are afraid of the internet and therefore know more about survival than the average person, which leads to our Man of the House meets Bushwhacked camping guide. 

Pricasso, the penis painter, on Rove Live and Morse code for the sexting generation. 

SEO fo’ sho: 
Kangaroo Punch 
Irwin 
The Last Guardian 
Westworld Season 2 
Transformers 
The Mummy 
Tom Cruise 

Questions: 
- How can I become a survivalist? I don’t want to go camping, I want to learn how to live off the land. I want to learn how to hunt and learn navigation by the stars. 
- The shopping centre I work in does 36 hour trading for Christmas. What are some good ways to stay awake? 
- Help me pick a new phone. Any make any model and why - Advice off. 

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00:0000:00

Todd and I would never go on Shark Tank together.
My Mum discovered Facebook and has no social media etiquette.
At what point is Christmas ruined forever?
How to achieve Official status.
Meeting with Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey.
How to practice the elevator pitch.
A sad Christmas from Michael Buble and not listening to lyrics.
An alien racist question makes us understand racism.
A life-time supply and set for life is never what you think it is.

Questions:
- Should I tell my twin brother he was a mistake?
- Would you date a gorgeous sexy lady that has green skin? Like from Guardians of the Galaxy
- How do subliminal messages get into music?

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00:0000:00

The Edward Snowden film really opened my eyes to the Toblerone, Pringles and Shapes coverup conspiracy that the mainstream media are ignoring. How we handle scratching someone’s car by turning it into a se7en / Zodiac style puzzle game. 

My dad sets me up for a drug bust which forces me to change my name to Netflix Presents Pablo Escobar 2. Terminator style future police, YouTube crimes, The Secret World of Alex Mac stealing from Terminator 2, Breaking down Animorphs and their potential copyright infringement on The Faculty and Stargate. Todd’s gone Monopoly mad with boardgames and keeps one on display and creates a new game fusing Pringles and Operation.

Our friendship is really put to the test on this episode:
Twilight Showdown Team Edward v Team Jacob
Secret World of Alex Mac v Terminator 2
Animorphs v The Faculty
Clarissa Explains It All v Kenan and Kel

Todd dips into the science of Independence Day 2, we ask DMX some questions and what was Clarissa Explains It All ACTUALLY about?

Questions:
- Is my clay modelling an affront to God?
- Will I get arrested for uploading a crime to YouTube?
- Something about the game The Sims

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Sex Tech has really stepped it’s game up with the new technology that allows for digital blow jobs called BlowCast. You can now hack a penis. Todd runs us through his shoulder to shoulder dong comparison experience and how to incentivise a penis measurement competition. I blind side Todd with a secret personal question from a listener. Impressing your parents with wrestling moves. How to sound board yourself. Using entrepreneurial and innovative techniques for revitalising the prank phone call game. Is Ebaum’s World still online? and The Advisory erotic fan fiction.

Questions:
- My partner is in to some very strange stuff in the bedroom and frankly it scares me. Should I do what they want to make them happy or should I say no that’s just too damn kinky?
- How to ask a friend to compare penises? Is there a way I can ask without seeming weird?
- I’m a really quiet person but I sound really loud to me. How can I get these tubular tones out of my mouth at a volume everyone can enjoy?
- How can I convince my parents to let me wrestle

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In this weird one Todd “The Original Snack Scammer” tries to scam from free products Ocean’s 11 style. We teach you how to be a job creator. We finally get our exclusive interview with Sir David Attenborough and really question his relevancy in this digital age.

Todd shares the intricacies of desert island racist pizza and does God know who am I if I change my name before I die?

Questions:
- I stay in hotels a lot and never know if I should make the bed and clean up a little. What do you think?
- I have an obsession with learning new stuff, anything and everything. What is a faster way to study and memorise things?

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Todd needs help with his Gumtree listing and suit selling skills. We spice up your typical, boring secret Santa at the office by merging it with the sabotage tactics of the hit TV show The Mole. We deal with more roommate drama and help Ian name his blog. Also... Todd makes Mary an alcoholic. 

Questions:
- I recently started a movie/tv/games review blog and I need a new name for it.
- My roommate keeps changing the toaster setting and not changing it back. How do I confront this?
- I want to mix up Secret Santa. Any suggestions to not make it boring?


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Welcome back to another red hot episode of Advice Chefs.

This week on the show, head iron chef Todd crafts a delicious new fan theory for Home Alone, the McCallisters and The Wet Bandits on the deep dark web.

But let’s get back to business… tis the season to get spooky, Halloween Edition 2016.

We discuss our survival strategies for surviving a night locked in a Woolworths with Mr. Yeah Baby himself Michael Myers. Spoiler alert: Todd employs some Home Alone style traps.

We help out a fellow festively plump guy with Halloween costume ideas. World of Warcraft video game solutions to big boys problems were heavily employed.

We hand craft another one of our patented ideas for a weird reality TV show where the contestants have to earn $1000 an episode or they die. But the first idea is always trash, which is why this idea was beautifully transformed into a series of Nic Cage films adapted into a reality TV series. Stage 1 - Steal 50 Cars. Stage 2 - Swap faces and trade families, and if after one month you don’t get found out you win $250,000. Stage 3 - Steal the declaration of independence.

We also help you overcome the classic Halloween problem of your friend having the same costume idea as you. You gotta trash talk it, you gotta sabotage, you gotta Jawbreaker them.

Finally, a monumental event takes place in this episode as we clear the air, end the war, and birth the Advice Avengers. I AM PEPPER POTS!

Check out the Great Advice podcast: https://soundcloud.com/great-advice-podcast

Questions:
- Would you agree to be locked inside a Woolworths for 24 hours with Michael Myers if you received $1Million for surviving. If so how would you survive?

- I’m a big guy and I don’t know what to wear for a Halloween party. What’s a good costume for fat guys? Please don’t say a Pumpkin, I’m not going as a pumpkin.

- Ignoring all morals, what would make the most entertaining reality tv show?

- I didn’t tell my friends what I was going to go as for Halloween, but one of them has told me and it’s the same costume as mine. How can I get them to change their costume.

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Blink and you’ll miss this micro episode where Todd learns that he owns part of a park and helps James assert his dominance and deal with a bird swooping issue. Todd helps a listener know what it’s like to get high and ride bubbles while breaking down 21st century hipster Jesus. 


We discuss Jumanji solutions and sequels, and help a listener deal with an overly passionate and argumentative friend.


Questions:

- What does it feel like to get high?

- How to cut a friend off before they get too worked up on a subject


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What a week! A listener gave us feedback on how our advice has been impacting his life. We figure out exactly how prison communication works. We break down the unanswered questions of Stuart Little and we help a listener break out of his vegan lie.

We discuss dad fights as a solution to real world problems, and ultimately how chiropractors are trying to take over the massage industry. We also learn some lessons that definitely weren't part of Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People.
However, unfortunately, we're in the midst of a war this week. An advice war. I thought friendships would be forged and the Advice Avengers would be born, but sadly that wasn't the case. It's a modern day Montague vs Capulets style scenario. A war that will last a life time.
Questions:
- How do I tell my girlfriend of 3 years who I live with I’m not a vegan. I’ve built a relationship with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with who is vegan. I told her when we started dating that I was also vegan to relate. 3 years later I’m sneaking out at midnight to eat stake wrapped in bacon. Please help. 
- We got a masseuse in the office last week and he said I was really tight. I told him I used to go to a chiropractor so yeah probably. He then replied "Oh, a chiropractor can't fix this." What does that mean? What do I do?
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2016 is a wonderful time of new inventions, new products and new business opportunities, which is why we're discussing LEGO slippers and how inventions ultimately end up killing their inventors. But we also love to help people, it's what we're about; so this week we help John pick a rapper name to launch his career, and we help Shane get a pay rise at work.

Unfortunately Todd tries to promote and advertise his own stuff for free on the show and ends up paying the ultimate price... he also suggests kidnapping a lot which is rather unsettling.

Questions:

- I need help picking a rapper name
- I need a pay rise but I don't know if I should go the direct route or hint at it?

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Hey quick question for you...what can I actually get with my FlyBuy points and where do I redeem them? Also, were Tim Allen's grunts and sounds in Home Improvement scripted? Or are they just ingrained in the fibres of Tim? ...and who was Wilson!?

Warning! ASMR with caution, or you may be forever chasing that rock hard bone. And please be careful when repeating your Starbucks orders into mirrors because Mr. Starbucks will appear behind you and kill you. 
We break down the origins of thing and crispy pizza and the infamous stuffed crust, as well as giving you the sure fire tips and tricks for dealing with your anxiety by creating different characters for different situations.
Questions:
  • My wife has 3 cats and a dog and want more, but I don't want any pets. What can I do?
  • How can I order in front of people when I get anxious at Starbucks
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We find a business who deal with haunted computers, so be careful where you buy your second hand computers and the sites you’re visiting because they may be riddled with ghost viruses. We ask hollywood the hard hitting question - Where are the sequels to sequels? We’re not talking about expanding the universe in a Star Wars Rogue One style scenario, we’re talking a sequel to just Return of the Jedi, or a sequel to Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone; Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone 2: Awesome Orphans: A Summer Camp Story. Or we go a really dark found footage Hogwarts film.

Halloween is coming up which means it’s time for us to help you out and give you the best halloween costume ideas. What to do and what NOT to do in the case a creepy repair man is casing your house. We myth bust the elaborate case of phantom smells, phantom nose and the sense spectrum. We basically want to get to the bottom on Sense Sliding and sniffing different dimensions. Also, Todd goes full crazy and ponders Planet 420: a planet made of weed. And when your hippy neighbours are stealing the vegetables and fruits you’re growing you gotta implement a series of traps. 

 Questions:

- A repair man took pictures of all our rooms, is this illegal? Why would he need to do that?

- My roommate says I stink, I’m doing everything I can to fix it but apparently it still smells bad. What can I do?

- What to do when your neighbours are stealing the fruits and vegetables you’re growing
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We get deep in that psychology guff and have a quick chat about The Fregoli Delusion and The Truman Show. We teach you, in detail, how to be a great friend with the simple snip and dip strategy and a cookie boy fest. James tells the story of people in high school trying to get juiced on the Tac by snorting Tic Tac dust. We also break down what to do in the event of your Dad breaking your phone. And is my Dad keeping tabs on me through the webcam on the laptop he just bought me?

Additional: The OG Emojis; OGojis. Kevin McCallister is our spirit animal. What does Zuckerberg know that we don't?
Question:

How do I help my homesick friend?

Dad broke my phone, can I get him arrested?
My Dad is paying for my apartment, phone etc and he bought me a laptop, can he see me through my  webcam?

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So an actual human being sent us his dimensions and wanted to know what condoms he should buy, so of course we directed him to the age old profession that no one talks about; The Dick Tailor, for all your made to measure bespoke condom needs. One question ends up transforming from catching up with friends at a beach to being afraid of pools as a kid because I thought sharks were in it. And remember when you were a kid and everyone said don’t eat watermelon seeds? Why didn’t anyone warn us about swallowing baby sharks that were in our tap water? and who even has time to worry about pool sharks when you’ve got monsters under your bed. Classic childhood fears. But what exactly does the Boogyman do all day? And who’s paying them? We do, we started the Hire a Boogyman Service.
But why stop at setting up a business, we also set up a friendship bank and establish a network of local businesses to work off friendship debts. Also do banks kneecap people when they owe money? Tweet us. Oh and something about Werewolves & Jack Nicholson.

Questions:
  • What condoms should I buy?
  • My friends left without me, should I take an Uber?
  • How do I get my friends to pay for my stuff?
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My neighbour has been acting REALLY strange lately so David helps us formulate a plan which involves utilising a pizza delivery man and an evil sensing dog to blow this case wide open. Todd keeps going over our head to the Advisory CEO, meanwhile David accidentally gets invited to an orgy and has a Tinder accident. Then somehow we went from helping someone name a character in her book to creating our own book; Justin-Blake The Real Good Prince Boy Detective. And what do I actually do if my friend is getting smarter than me and I want it to stop? You accidentally make a Batman. Basically this whole episode consists of David inadvertently poisoning the well with crimes and Todd reveals he’s a monster.

Questions:
How do I know if my neighbour is a serial killer?
How to casually make an orgy happen
How to create and name a character
How to stop snoring
My friend is getting smarter than me, how do I stop that

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Back at the advice game helping Dennis with his peppermint genital problem & the two towel system which we need your help with. Todd thought about stealing a dog named Frank and we discover the marijuana version of the Microsoft Word clip which turns out to be 420 Renewable Energy.


Submitted Questions:

Are you not supposed to use peppermint products on your genitals?

Does finders keepers apply to dogs?

How to casually achieve regular status at a restaurant?

Visit www.comicconpod.com to listen to our episodes FREE!

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We came out of our trap door to tell you guys about this dude who kept a used condom collection! Also, if you've ever had trouble coming up with a cool digital moniker, we've got you covered. And real quick...have you ever thought about the day-to-day struggles of being Splinter, a full grown human sized rat man? Because that’s the kind of shit that keeps us up at night. 


Submitted Questions:

- DCMihatepie asks: A lad I work with, who is a really nice guy and does great work, sometimes smells really bad. We're talking the illest (and not in the good way) body odour. I want to talk to him about it but don't know how. What should I do?

- Sammantha asks: How do I choose a video game alias? I really want something that makes me sound cool and intimidating. I either can’t think of one, or all the good ones are taken. 


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The Advisory is a comedy advice & discussion podcast from Australia's not-so leading experts.

We joined the Comic Confidential Network! We chat about James Wan committing a comic crime, Back to the Furious update, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson plays every character, Are you a DC Dan or a Marvel Mavis? We pick superpowers, Hundreds and thousands are food glitter, Todd trapped someone in a stairwell, Sleepy cocaine meetings & the origins of Dr. Second Slicer.  

Submitted Questions: How to stay awake in meetings? 
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The Advisory discussion and advice podcast by Australia’s not so leading experts.

We try to figure out who the people are that click past page 1 on Google, we break down the Royal Queensland Show aka what even is The Ekka? and we give no olympics coverage whatsoever. Also we discuss Confetti vs Glitter - The modern day Montagues vs Capulets and the free burrito scam. 

Submitted Questions: What are some good insults to get back at my brother, Party Themes to out do your friends parties, Irrational fear of owls used as a weapon, How to get out of your friends house. 

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July 31, 2016

TA 53: Air BnG

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The Advisory discussion and advice podcast by Australia’s not so leading experts. 

It’s season 2 episode 1…kind of. We launch a new business venture based on the success of airbnb and friend making - Air BnG. We teach you how to upgrade your hotel room and we discuss the intricacies of Dad Mania and Pokemon GO Drug Dealing. Also.. a guys friend keeps trying to wrestle him and we get deep in some advice on how to handle that situation. 
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San Diego Comic Con is cool… but so is the 1996 Shaq-classic Kazaam. We chat about The Stealing Weight, Pokemon God Punishment, Chain Mail Curses, The World’s First Sandbox RPG Jesus Video Game, Nathan's Cool Kids, Buzzwords For Marketing Your Business & The Advisory. 

Submitted Questions: What are some good Christian games, How much to charge for baby sitting
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July 18, 2016

2DFB 51: The Dad Effect

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Technology has brought us closer together and made communicating even easier except that I have absolutely no idea what my dad is saying in text messages. We also chat about Todd's unknown texter mystery Scott and his bikes, Tipping coffee out for the homies & paying dope respect, What can you do with a butler, Richie Rich problems, Dad security guards at parties, Call the Ghostbusters, High In The Sky: Snoop Dogg’s Airline & The BIG REVEAL! 

Questions: How to un-invite a guest, Is my new house haunted, If Snoop Dogg owned a plane what would it be called, How to politely greet a married couple when you don’t like the wife. 
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2 Dudes From Brisbane is an Australia comedy advice & discussion podcast.

Pokemon GO is creating global Pokemania, Pokemon crime solving, My neighbours Rear Window style robbery, Harshing the sus buzz of a mild rule breaker, Paper Toss is bigger than Google, Owning your small peener, Digital dog vs Analog dog & Peter Pan solutions. 

Submitted Questions: What do I do if I think my next door neighbour is being robbed, How do I get my boyfriend to call me pet names, How to handle my crush seeing me naked, How do I convince my parents to get me a dog. 
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2 Dudes From Brisbane is an Australian comedy advice & discussion podcast.

In episode 49 we discuss Magic Mike 3 Tokyo Drift & The Magic Mike Pokemon Go Style Game, Rare Collectables, How to make a vinyl mix tape, The brand new way to communicate, Who gone and done did it: Who Dunnit for the modern generation, Calming tips and techniques, Speed 3: We’re still on a boat again, Overcoming fears, Boat fever, Ghostly Goofs, Darth Vader Boggarts, Demon Magicians, Ouija Ghosts & Haunted mirrors. 

Submitted Questions: Do mix CDs actually help to make someone like you, How I tell my roommates I’m moving out, Tips for calming your partner when flying, How to get to sleep after a horror movie, What to do when you accidentally summon a ghost demon using a ouija board. 
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2 Dudes From Brisbane is an Australian comedy advice and discussion podcast.

James’ parents think he’s in a gang, Public transport sleepers, Appropriate food waiting, Who was the first guy to ride a horse, Time travel & Unicorn blood, Dr Phil + Dr Oz + Jerry Springer + Ricky Lake + Sally Jessy Raphael + Maury Povich = 2 Dudes From Brisbane but different, The best cover letter you’ve ever goddam heard & Dr. Ghost. 

Submitted Questions: Is it ok to wake people up on public transport, How long is too long to wait for food at a restaurant, How to write a cover letter
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